Never had a girlfriend at 20
I know it seems like you are a little behind, socially awkward, and completely alone. I was once in the same boat, and to be frankly honest with you. In hindsight it wasn’t really all that bad. I could have had a girlfriend all along.
I know, I know – What do you mean it isn’t all that bad? It is absolutely horrible. It sucks trying to pretend like I’m good with girls around my friends.
Well here’s the truth. Those of us who didn’t take the time to chase girls while all of our other buddies were completely wrapped in it, are actually a little better off.
You have had an opportunity to develop as an individual at a much faster rate than the average 20 year old. When you spend a lot of time soul-searching, as I’m sure many of you have, like I did. You learn a lot about yourself.
You get to know what it is you expect out of life, you examine your own behavior with a magnifying glass, you have a better way of seeing what other people are like. All of this adds up to you being a much stronger individual.
Women love a man who is sure of himself and knows what he wants. They love this because they really have no clue what it is they want. This is where all of the time spent analyzing yourself and your situation pays off.
You don’t have to act like all of those other idiots who have to lie, cheat, and steal to get a girl to talk to them. You can be yourself.
I know what you’re thinking
If I am such a confident piece of man meat, then why is it I’m not having to beat women off with a stick?
Well there’s a reason for that too…
I was once in the same place you are. I spent some Saturday nights playing video games or in some chat room, maybe catching a game with my buddies and it always felt like I was missing out on something.
Then it dawned on me all at once. How in the hell am I supposed to get a girl if I am not putting myself in a position to find one. Yeah, I hung out parties every once in awhile and had the occasional awkward conversation in passing with a female every now and again.
But that was pretty much the extent of it.
If you are not putting yourself in a place to present opportunities with girls, you’re not going to get a girlfriend. You have to take a little action to get a little action. (I swear I didn’t steal that, just came up with it)
Here’s what it means…
You’re going to have to deal with a little awkwardness. You’re going to have to introduce yourself to strange women in order to have a chance with them. I know it sounds terrifying, but it is the simple truth.
The reason you have never had a girlfriend at 20 is because you haven’t given yourself enough opportunities to get one. So how do you go about putting yourself in a position to get a girlfriend?
One trick that helped me is I started talking to random people in random places out of the blue. This was weird and awkward, and I really sucked at it; at first. After you talk to strangers a few times it gets easier and easier.
So that means the next time you’re at the gas station and the person behind the counter is looking at you funny during all of the silence. Just simply say, “hi”. See how it turns out. A lot of times you would be surprised to find out a lot of people think and talk just like you. Even if you didn’t have a clue who they were.
On a simple level, humans are pretty much the same. We all have similar desires, needs, and feelings. Remember this whenever you run into that next awkward, silent moment. That “stranger” might be thinking the exact same thing you are.
Just try it a couple of times. What’s the absolute worse thing that can happen, they don’t say a word and you walk away feeling a little awkward. Well, you kind of felt that way anyways. What you are doing by trying this trick is teaching yourself how to better handle the awkward situation so when it’s go time with a girl you’re interested in. You won’t start sweating profusely, stutter when you try to introduce yourself, or piss down both legs.
Humans inherently learn to adapt to certain emotions and feelings. By putting yourself in situations that cause those feelings, you will naturally learn how to deal with them in a better way.
So now when you talk to that strange woman, you can get past the point of not knowing what to say and get to the good stuff. You’ll be able to show her that you are confident in yourself, and you do know what you want. This means you will be able to stand out when compared to all of the other jerks she’s had to turn down earlier that day.
I was a lot like you. I was 20 and never had a girlfriend too. It got a lot better though. I had to make myself do something about it, and you will too. To be honest with you it’s a lot easier now than it used to be.
There wasn’t such a thing as Facebook and Twitter when I was 20. I only had the one opportunity to introduce myself and get somewhere with a girl maybe get a phone number. Now all you have to do is get out of your shell, show a little interest, and you never know where things might lead.
Maybe you don’t want to be too aggressive during the first encounter. You could still say, “I’ll look you up on Facebook.” It is a lot easier to talk to strange women when you’re not staring into their gorgeous eyes.
Friend her on Facebook and send a message reminding her that you exist. Then have a conversation from the comfortable confines of your home or car. This will allow you to plan what you’re going to say a little bit and not get so scared you start shaking.
Just remember…you have to give yourself an opportunity to meet a girl and show her you have something to offer. Trust me, I never had a girlfriend at 20 and I have had quite a few now. I have actually had a couple tell me they love me, and I’m an idiot; but believe it or not there’s a girl out there looking for that too.
If you like what you have read please try it out, and if it works; pass it along. Maybe you can help someone that’s 20 and never had a girlfriend too.